June 1st: A Personal Story
It’s the first week of June and I feel like so much has been happening. The protests, hurricane season, and what I want to write about is me being laid off. May 30th was my 34th birthday. The day before, my co-workers celebrated with me over the phone. We’re still working remotely. Saturday, my best friend took me out for lunch and Saturday night, my family had a small get together for me. It was fun and they made the best out of a pandemic situation. It lasted past midnight. Sunday was a rest day so, not mush happening that day.
Monday was going to be the start of my 1-week vacation. I always take a vacation for the week of my birthday. I woke up around 7 am and I realize I have an email for a meeting with my manager at 9 am. I can see work emails on my phone. I tried calling my manager and of course, she did not answer but, she texted me immediately right after I called. She tells me that she wants me to join the meeting. One thing I noticed on the invite was there are only 3 of the 8 of us invited. So, I knew something wasn’t right at that time, and that made me anxious.
We finally get on the call and she gives us the news that we are being laid off. My thought was, this is really happening! All she could say was she's sorry. Someone from HR was on the line as well. She spoke with each of us alone afterward. Throughout the day, I reached out to those I was close to, to let them know what was going on. They felt the same as me; it was a mistake. I did so much in my position including the things that were thrown at me. I did things that were outside of my job description. I feel what really brought the anger in me was the fact this happened days after my birthday and the day of my vacation. That showed me that my manager and the company does not care about me.
This week I have been trying to catch my breath and relax. In the midst of this, I have realized I have become a different person. This is not the first time I have been laid off; that was back in 2012. The difference between now and then is, we were given a heads up months in
advance. In 2014, I was laid off again. I was depressed, angry, and I felt like a loser. My spirit and self-esteem took a hit and I just felt hopeless.
This is where the growth process for me comes in. On Monday, I cried but, I have not cried since then. There's no point in continuing to cry! Crying, while it helps to release oxytocin and endorphins, it will not bring my job back. Decisions were made, which they thought was for the best. At the end of the day, my manager will have to live with that decision she made. So, I decided not to dwell on it. It happened, it’s a part of life. Some of us must go through it more than others.
I've always realized that that job was never going to be my career. I wasn’t happy there; I was stressed, tense, and felt unappreciated. I always knew my skills far exceeded what I did. So, I see this as making a way to receive what is meant for me. I know in my heart that I will be fine. The door that was meant for me to open will open up. I have filed for unemployment and completed some applications. I am keeping my spirits up and keeping my faith in myself. I realize that I have to be my safety and security net because something can be taken away from you in a flash.